This hurts

My son is sick. I am sitting in ICU in his room. My daughter-in-law is here. We are both a long way from our home. My son, her husband, has been working out of state since November last year. The unexpected consequences of our society’s reaction to Covid. He needed work and the work was here.

Now he is sick. Seriously sick. All through his life his mother and I have tried to take care of him. When he was sick, we took him to the doctor. There was something we could do.

He’s an adult now and I sit at his bedside as someone else - doctors and nurses - work to bring him healing.

I know that healing is of God, and I see His work through their hands. I see God’s care through their care.

We had a scare last night. We thought we might lose him. He’s in his 40s but he is still my boy. I cannot recall ever struggling with so much fear. It was an hour before we knew anything definite. 

It hurts when your son is sick. It hurts when you don’t know when he’ll get better. It hurts when it looks like you might lose him. It hurts when you are far from home when all this is happening.  

I am grateful for the care my son is getting. I am grateful for the technology that helps me stay in contact with my family and friends. 

I am grateful to the God in whom I have put my trust. 

But this still hurts.

“In you, LORD my God, I put my trust.” (Psalm 25:1)